Roosters

One of my favorite sayings is, “the rooster may crow, but the hen delivers the goods.” Most people who read this statement often think that this is an ode to the value of women over men.  I however see this differently.  When observing my hens and one rooster in the barn, I have come to a new perspective on this idea. 

In the barnyard, hens busy themselves with foraging for food, bathing in the dust and sunlight, and laying eggs.  They communicate with one another in a similar tone and volume.  They wait for each other to lay eggs, they help each other groom their feathers, and they warm each others eggs, never taking note of whose eggs are under their downy soft feathers.  

Sometimes are loud as they move each other out of a nesting box, or as they fight for nutritional morsels of chicken scratch, but overall, they work together and are true to the idea of a flock.

Roosters on the other hand, are selfish.  Mine is no exception. He will spend time looking over his hens, like a prince in medieval times, standing on the highest hill to survey his land. He is loud.  He crows a lot and for no reason other than to make sure the entire barnyard knows he is there.  They can be outright mean. There are many cases where a rooster will peck a hen to death, for no apparent reason. Roosters are threatened by anything that tries to dominate them. My rooster recently tried to sneak up behind me and peck the back of my legs, a swift kick later and he now leaves me alone. He has his way with any one of the hens when ever he wants to by sheer force. He is alone, out only for his own needs and pleasures and it seems by his crowing that he wants you to know how beautiful and important he is.

I think people are a lot like chickens.  Not by gender, but by character. I have many hens in my life.  Today I had the honor of going to a tea at my friend’s home.  She is a true hen.  As she has endured hardship, she has continued to be thankful and generous in spirit.  She is always tickled by the blessings in her life. She takes nothing for granted and appreciates everything. She knows that the world is bigger than her, that she is a member of a “flock” and that she benefits from the flock benefiting. She is a shining example of the kind of woman I aspire to be.

By contrast I have several roosters in my life. Two specifically come to mind. One is male and one is female, so I am confident that I am not discriminating one gender over another. Both of these roosters are the first to tell you how right they are, how great they are, and how they can fix your life.  They crow more than inquire.  They are quick to tell you how it is or should be without asking a single question regarding your thoughts or feelings. 

When you walk away from time with a hen, you feel good.  They add to your sense of self.  Hens are supportive, but they will correct your behavior gently, should you, for example, stay in the nesting box too long. But it is never harsh, and it is for the benefit of the flock. The hens in my life are the people who tell me to pursue what makes me happy. They understand why I have left my lucrative career prospects to be a mom, at home, on a farm. They laugh and cry with me and allow me to make mistakes. They reveal their true selves to me and we truly connect with one another.

The roosters in my life make me fill ill after I have spent time with them.  My stomach literally hurts when I interact with these people. They can’t understand why I have made certain choices and are happy to make grand assumptions about what my life is like. One rooster in particular has not spent anytime asking me any questions about myself and has been very vocal to others about how terrible my decisions have been. At the same time this rooster boasts of their life and accomplishments. They fail to understand that even though I have the capacity to work full time and have a stunning career, that my life is on a different course. Additionally, I have found that many roosters are too afraid to crow directly at you, they would rather do it in a round about manner. Make a mistake in front of a rooster and they will hold it over your head forever.

The sad thing is that to have a healthy farm, you need both roosters and hens.  The balance of the two is necessary to have progression, not to mention new chicks! So maybe the hens put up with the rooster in the same way that I manage these individuals in my life.  Maybe they spend time with other hens to fill up their core in anticipation of interactions with the rooster, and maybe they race back to the wings of the other hens afterwards. 

However it may be for the hens in my barn, I know that I struggle with the roosters in my life. I can’t stand how quickly they can deflate my sense of self, how they can force me to question my intuition, my faith. I do want these people in my life, just not as roosters.  So I look to other hens to teach me how to balance time with the roosters. I thank God for small victories and pray for the continual growth of my own sense of self and knowledge of his will in my life. 

I also spend time thinking about when I have been a rooster to someone else. When have I thought that I knew what was best for someone else? When did I start to tell someone what they should do before I asked enough to truly understand their situation? When should I have kept my mouth shut and just listened?  Setting time aside to think about this is important for all of us.

Another important thing to keep in mind is that a farm only needs one rooster to fulfill the needs of the multitudes of hens. Roosters are in the end, less important and expendable. Of course, we do need at least one, if for no other reason, then to provide a gauge for measuring the impact of self fulfilling self reliance on one's life. Oh, and to make baby chicks, which most farmers hope end up to be hens.